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What’s the point if you get left out any way.

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Just last week, a 7th grader with a curvy build came home upset about this. She had worn an outfit with a skirt and leggings, and in the morning, a teacher had said to her, “Cute outfit.” But then her homeroom teacher pulled her aside at the end of the day and said, “You know, another girl could get away with that outfit, but you should not be wearing that. I’m going to dress code you.” Juliet Bond and the child’s mom were discussing the incident, not certain if the message to the child was ‘you’re too sexy’ or ‘you’re too fat.’

The kids also report that the teachers have been discussing ‘appropriate body types for leggings and yoga pants and inappropriate body types for yoga pants and leggings.’

Bond says, “This is concerning because it is both slut shaming and fat shaming. If a girl is heavy or developed, the message is that she cannot wear certain clothes.” Neither is acceptable. We should not be sexualizing kids, nor should we be making them feel that they can wear leggings as long as they remain stick thin. Bond asks, “Why are the girls being pulled out of class to have assemblies on whether they are wearing the right clothes, while the boys remain in class, learning and studying?”

I don’t have a problem with a school having a dress code; in fact, I attended a school that didn’t allow jeans or shorts or shirts without collars, but I do have a problem when the dress code is discriminately based on gender and body type. There is a big difference between telling all students to dress respectfully and telling curvy girls to dress in a way that doesn’t distract boys.

  • (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
  • Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
  • Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
  • Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
  • Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
  • Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
  • Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
  • Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
  • Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
  • Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
  • Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
  • Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
  • Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
  • Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
  • Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

I remember being embarrassed to say I was 120. Now I’m 140. Amazing what a year of hell can do.

10 things about me

1) I’m the youngest in my grade but usually the smartest and wisest
2) seeing others happy makes me happy
3) I was raped
4) I don’t have a girl best friend
5) I love learning but I can’t ever think straight
6) I use to cut and wish I could again. I know it’s wrong but whatever
7) I am a very sweet person, but people piss me off so nobody gets to see it
8) I have talked several friends out of suicide
9) I always feel like either crying or I’m being judged
10) i feel empty and have no idea how to get better

I had a kid tell me that if I get raped again just know I told you so.
Anyone can be raped. Your mother, your sister, your brother, your friends. Anyone. So stop being such an asshole and get over your self.